19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. -James 1:19-20
This verse from the bible has so much wisdom in it. And only if we can follow this advice more often, many relationships could be saved; whether a marriage, relationship with a colleague or with your family members. Though this advice is simple, it is hard to follow.
When we are doing the opposite of what is advised; slow to listen, quick to speak and become angry, instead of beating yourself up, an important and productive question to ask would be, ‘Why are we behaving this way?’ Very often, when people are over-reacting, it’s mostly because they are hurt. Have you noticed if you have an open wound, you would feel pain even if you just give it a gentle touch? You would try to stay away from the wound to avoid getting it hurt even more.
Understanding this can change the way we interact with other people. We can choose to have more empathy towards people who are over-reacting. At the same time, we can also be more aware of how and when we get hurt most often which can shed light on our inner self. Next time when you find yourself over-reacting or feeling sensitive towards certain issues, ask yourself, ‘Am I hurt in this particular area?’ We can all work towards healing those wounds in order to get healthier physically, mentally and emotionally every day.